Living with Gastritis. What it feels like, one story.

My first encounter with severe stomach pain and bloating occured in 2010.  I was on antidepressants and had put on a lot of weight due to the upper.  There were many factors which lead to the prescription of the SSRI and I didn’t know it at the time but the latter was known for weight gain.  After 9 months and a well-rounded 20lb heavier with a bloating and reactionary belching to accompany it, I did a bit of research, found the culprit of the weight gain and decided twenty was a good enough number to stop at. I blamed fatness on the antidepressant.  I looked like I ate myself and was in fear of never seeing my feet again.
We'll not really but I felt I was better off miserable and thin than fat and happy.  So began the tummy ache.

My gastritis manifested itself under the guise of an intolerance to lactose and then an issue with gluten.  I was tested for all types of food allergies and had none.  It was a relief that I wasn’t coeliac nor lactose intolerant. I love all foods and don’t discriminate against any group. However this relief was paradoxically juxtaposed with dismay. What was wrong with me?  I just wanted it to be fixed.  My stomach would bloat and swell up protruding out like someone blowing up a balloon with gas bubbling up my oesophagus making me burp without any relief.  Full disclaimer I admit I am a sugar addict. I love chocolate and have been known to commit carbocide on more than one occasion and this bloat pain and gas didn't discriminate either.  It would happen with anything I ate, clean or otherwise.

The pain I experienced can only be described as sharp and then dragging.  I described it to my GP like electricity or lightning striking laterally across my stomach.  It wasn’t always there but I can without hesitation say since 2010 I have constantly been aware of my stomach, and I continue to just “feel” it.   I had a stool sample test with a negative H pylori result, no help whatsoever, the symptoms exacerbated. My unenthused sister deposited the doggy bag with said sample to the clinic for me.  I had an endoscopy after waiting 18 months on a waiting list; the surgeon said that I had the worst case of gastritis he had ever seen, 2 healed ulcer scars accompanied by lots of scarring in the stomach lining with a positive H pylori result.  He asked me “are you not in constant pain?” There’s that word again, constant. I was constantly uncomfortable. Unfortunately at the time I fell between the cracks, and I thought that they had treated me. I was prescribed Nexium, which at the time was only available by prescription and was unpleasantly expensive.  I can categorically state with certainty that it did not help me. My symptoms worsened.   I was, at the time having a great social life; I was 28 and out every weekend socialising with friends and living in the best bubble there is, the one in Dublin 4.  My weekend would end up with me vomiting all day Sunday only to have respite at around 6pm, just in time to order Thai food and watch tv with my roommate. Come hell or high water I wasn’t letting a bit of throw up affect my social life.  I had the biggest fear of missing out.  They say stupid is as stupid does.   

I went to the doctor again; asking her what had they done to me during the endoscopy and could the biopsy have made me worse?  I was sicker than ever. I re- explained my love of coffee and adoration of beer, wine and Thai food and my belief that you only live once. In my twenties I couldn’t bring myself to live on a strict diet.  I had tried a variety but I never knew when the gastritis would strike.  Some weeks I’d be fine eating and drinking anything and another time watermelon would be the catalyst for a marathon vomiting session.  I really didn’t know what to do.  I had planned a yearlong trip to the US and I wanted to be “cured” before I arrived there.  I was sent for another endoscopy. This time they found nothing. “What?”  I had at that time been drinking aloe vera gel (shudder) every morning and evening desperately trying anything and searching for a cure.  I imagined both aloe and vera lovingly soothing my scars and healing me internally.  I do try to add humour to the story but there is nothing funny about having this problem.  It is a living hell when it fires up.

I’m calling this my week 1, again.  It’s February 2016 and I find myself at the mercy of my stomach once more.  The pain can be so uncomfortable and sharp and there is a persistent pressure in my throat.  I am perpetually bloated and aware of my stomach and sometimes, not always, the area is tender to touch. It feels like a canker sore or an open hole burning behind my breastbone that fills up with air that needs to be released. The gas is constant. I feel like a human whoopee cushion only I sound worse.  I belch and burp, and it comes from the center of my back as much as within my oesophagus behind my breastbone, without providing any relief.  It is relentless.  It’s the gas I hate the most.  This has been ongoing without any break for a year now. What brought it to a head once again was the dry retching and the occasional vomit. I drink apple cider vinegar when an episode comes over me, which works the best to relieve the pressure somewhat. I have tried; ginger tea, ginger tablets, over the counter antacids, beano, gas x, coffee tamer, meditation and yoga poses to no avail, as well as giving up coffee, green tea, gluten and alcohol. I did not try all at once.  Maybe I should.  Typically I burp and belch from my waking moment until I fall asleep.  I am despairing as well as going deaf. 

Not knowing the maze that is the US health care system I found myself with my very supportive husband in urgent care begging the doctor to help me and mostly hoping she understood what I was talking about.  I explained my history and answered the questions. Yes my life is stressful.  I’m slightly neurotic and have a penchant for living in the past or future feeling every pain ever felt by any being, plant, animal or otherwise.  She prescribed the triple antibiotic treatment for H pylori but not to start until after I had the stool sample test,  again. To my dismay the stool sample test came back negative again.  This time it was my reluctant husband who transported the doggy bag to the lab.  Clearly I can't handle my own you know what.

What now? I’ve been on omeprazole twice daily for 7 days now, I drink kefir in the morning, apple cider vinegar if the gas is too much to take and aloe vera occasionally.  I haven’t eaten carbohydrates, have greatly reduced my sugar intake and have had no alcohol. The symptoms remain but thankfully have slightly  improved; the burning open hole feeling is gone and there are periods of no pain and sometime no gas, this can last maybe an hour which, is a miracle at this point. I've booked an appointment with a gastroenterologist for March.  I’m praying he’s a deity and hoping he’s my cure.  

My next stop is acupuncture; maybe the needle will release the pressure.

The update May 2016, click here